I hath Returnethed

So I bet all 5 of you who come on regularly are wondering what the heck I've been doing for the past. . . while. Well here we go, I'll tell. But you all owe me 7.50.

I was far in the Andes Mountains. . . training with the never before seen Zen Monk Army (ZMA). At a height of 2560 ft, karate kicks and high altitude baking can be a challenge, but I love a challenge. Any day now, the ZMA will come knocking on your door. You will know that it's us because of our low pitch humming, our horse hair robes, and the pleasant smell of freshly baked breads in the air. You shall open the door, and before you can even think "Wow, the gurl-scouts have officially taken it too far", you will have dozens of pastries stuck in your mouth, eyes, and creatively decorated as a center piece on your dinner table. By the time we are gone (7.89 seconds) you don't know if you have been attacked or pleasantly surprised.

So that explains my absence. By the way, my new name in South America is Gwon-Degidegideg. The local children say it means "He who constantly breaks wind." I am almost positive that they were talking about my rather inexpensive colognac which I applied constantly. You don't want to go smellin' bad. . . in the blazing blaze of the northern Andes.

Ithl. . . your obsessed.