February is full of disappointments, joys, snow, slush, snow slush, and that stuff you get when you mistakingly snow-blow your lawn. Essentially, February is just one of those awkward months. Not snow, not rain, not cold, not warm. To add to that, it has one of those weird spellings, I've had to correct like 6 of them so far. I'm gonna go spelling things like Febuary and Wendsday from now on, or at least until people start getting my last name right. Cheyne. Not Sheyne, not Ca-Heyne. Its a CH. It makes a Chu sound. As in Chain. Fix it.
Back to the Febs. What does it even have to offer? Groundhog day? They replaced the groundhog with a blind woodchuck like 40 years ago. Scamming us into endless winter. How you feel now Uncle Sam? This isnt even winter, it's wet, then cold, then ice, then melty, then rock solid. It's the time when you make a huge snowman out of that amazing packing snow that they use in like the Olympics. Only you make it really stupid and add as many things as you can to mock the neighbors. You think that it will be melted by morning right? Wrong. That baby freezes rock solid. You cant even pry off the kitchen accessories or women apparel that you dressed 'er up with.
OH! Get this. We have Friday the 13th this month. I think my luck is already changing. This morning, and not only did I cross a black cat, but I was walking directly behind Chuck Norris. I barely escaped with my life. Furthermore, I heard on the news that our senior citizens are down on their luck. 14 incidents involving large glasses and fashion crisis. There was one involving a road raging potato farmer as well, but no matter.
(Added for the person who commented about not including Valentines Day)
Valentines day is in February too. It's when thousands of men are forced into purchasing up on 60 bucks worth of jewelrys, flowers, and for the most daring. . . clothing. It's one of those things where the guys who cant participate, wish they could. And the guys who are participating wish they weren't. Oh yeah, and this year, it's the day after Friday the 13th, so we're all going to be on our little bad luck hangovers when suddenly we have to pick up our lovely European chocolates. Stupid Europe. They're too romantic.
(Your welcome)
Oh and the Superbowl, but I don't want to offend anyone by mentioning how much I don't like football because it's kinda lame.
Oops
Uncle Sam. . . we want our groundhog.
wow, u 4got valentine's day!!!!!gasp! that's down-right terrible. by the way whom is this dumb chuck norris person?
ReplyDeleteI swear, if that's you ithl. . . . . . but fine. I'll add valentines day.
ReplyDeleteUhhhh you aren't suppose to only say BAD things about Valentines Day!! For a lot of girls it's something they look forward to! It's a time of unknowing what might be waiting and/or surprises. ... You have to say SOMETHING good about Valentines Day! Or do you think there is nothing good about Valentines Day?.... . . .
ReplyDeleteDont you put me on the spot there missy :0
ReplyDeleteI'm just generalizing some of the guy views of V-Day. Not my views. . . their views. Personally I think that Valentines Day is cool and awesome. . . there.